If you really want to understand why you haven’t achieved what you want—why you haven’t been able to manifest your dreams—answer the following five questions:
- Are you usually afraid of starting something new?
- Do you have a lot of ideas but you never seem to put them into action?
- Do you procrastinate a lot?
- Do you tend to do things the same way all the time?
- Do you wonder why you aren’t more creative and innovative?
If you answered, “yes,” to any of these questions it’s probably because of one main fear…
One of my teachers is an unassuming man named Morty Lefkoe. I learned Morty’s philosophy and technique for eliminating limiting beliefs and conditioned responses a couple of years ago and have successfully used it for myself and my clients with some amazing results.
I’m happy to share this recent blog post of his and the links he provides to use some of his techniques to help you RIGHT NOW eliminate fears that keep you from realizing your dreams and potential.
If you answered, “yes,” to any of the 5 questions above, you most have a fear of failure.
Let me explain why.
- Why would anyone be afraid of trying something new if they weren’t afraid of failing?
- Fear of taking action is always a fear of failure. If you weren’t afraid of failing, there would be no reason to avoid taking action.
- Procrastination consists of putting off taking action. The unconscious premise underneath procrastination is: If I don’t complete something I can’t fail at it.
- Doing the same thing all the time–doing what worked the last time you tried it—prevents you from making a mistake, in other words, prevents you from failing.
- Creativity and innovation consist of doing things that have never been done before, which entails the real possibility of failing.
In other words, the fear of failure is one of the biggest barriers we have to making our dreams real.
The fear of failure is not human nature
Because so many people fear failure it is often considered to be human nature. I disagree. Yes, it is common, but this fear is not inherent in being a human being. How do I know this? Because I’ve seen so many people totally extinguish this fear once its source has been eliminated.
What causes fear of failure?
In order to understand why a fear of failure is so common you first need to understand the cause of the fear. The primary cause is three beliefs and one conditioning. The beliefs are: Mistakes and failure are bad, if I make a mistake or fail I’ll be rejected, and what makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me. (Other beliefs that also can be involved are I’m not good enough, I’m not capable, I’m not competent, and I’m powerless.)
Let me explain how these three beliefs—which most children form in childhood—necessarily lead to a fear of failure. First, if you think it is bad or wrong to fail, you will fear it. Second, merely thinking you will be rejected if you fail is not sufficient to cause fear. If, however, you base your sense of self-worth on what others think of you, then expecting others to reject you when you make a mistake will lead to you feeling something is wrong with you as a person—and that will cause fear.
The conditioning is: fear associated with failure, in other words, you are conditioned to automatically feel fear when you fail or even think you might fail. (One other conditioning that is sometimes involved is fear of rejection.)
If every time you didn’t live up to mom and dad’s expectations as a child they indicated you had failed at doing what you were supposed to have done—and then they got upset with you—you would condition any type of failure to produce fear. For details on how stimulus conditionings are formed, go to this page.
How to get rid of fear of failure
Once you recognize the source of the fear, the solution is simple. Eliminate the three beliefs and decondition the conditioning. You can eliminate “Mistakes and failure are bad” on our free belief-elimination program at http://recreateyourlife.com.
Some people are able to eliminate beliefs and conditionings on their own. If you cannot and want some assistance, you can purchase our Natural Confidence program, an interactive program (DVD or streaming video) that helps you eliminate 19 of the most common limiting beliefs and four of the most destructive conditionings, including the ones that usually cause a fear of failure. http://recreateyourlife.com/store/natural-confidence.php
Regardless of whether you do it alone or with assistance, getting rid of the fear of failure is probably the single best thing you can do to get what you want in life.
Morty Lefkoe passed away November 2015. He was president and founder of The Lefkoe Institute. He was the creator of a series of psychological processes (The Lefkoe Method) that result in profound personal and organizational change, quickly and permanently. His wife, Shelly, and daughter continue to run the company and offer private sessions. Hopefully, they will continue the trainings that Morty started to teach others how to use the method for themselves and others.
He has written a book about the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP), Re-Create Your Life: Transforming Yourself and Your World
Do you need help eliminating the fear of failure or other limiting beliefs? Schedule a complimentary MMM Business Strategy Session with me to identify what old ideas, beliefs & skillsets need to change and IMMEDIATE steps to take so you can get more clients and make a difference in more lives!