Save Your Business (or Any Relationship) With This 3:1 Ratio (Guest Post, Mark Waldman)
According to my neurocoach, Mark Waldman, research shows that positivity can add 2 years to your lifespan, and contempt is the #1 key for causing relationships to crumble. So what is the 3:1 ratio and how can it help improve personal relationships and business success?
Here is more from Mark Waldman about this topic:
"When I talk about the need to maintain a 3-to-1 Positivity Ratio, this comes from the research of three people: Barbara Fredrickson (she has a great book called Positivity), Marciel Losada, and the famous relationship researcher John Gottman. Gottman found that contempt is the #1 key for causing relationships (at home or work) to crumble, whereas kindness is the #1 key to happiness and success.
"You can measure this: for every negative thought or feeling you have about someone or something, you need to generate at least 3 positive thoughts/feelings about that person or situation. If you don't, that relationship has a 94% chance of failing and/or generating deep unhappiness.
"Losada found the same ratio in businesses: a single frown or “no” can derail cooperation at work! It's easy to criticize but it takes hard work to be persistently kind and supportive, toward yourself and toward others.
"If you generate a 5:1 Positivity Ratio, that's the psychological secret to relationship happiness and business success.
NeuroWisdom Exercise: Put two sheets of paper on your desk tomorrow. Write down every negative thought/feeling you have on one sheet, and write down all the positive ones on the other sheet. Now you can calculate your personal Positivity ratio.
"Once, my wife told me I was constantly negative. I disagreed and went out to prove her wrong. But in just 5 minutes of walking the dog, I noted 25 tiny complaints (hurry up, I’ve got too much work today, my feet hurt, etc.). I was shocked…and embarrassed. But the next day, I only had 5 negatives on my list.
It only takes a little consciousness to instantly change years of chronic unconscious negativity into an optimistic, life-affirming habit. Result: it literally adds 2 years to your lifespan….that’s what the research found!"
CALL TO ACTION
Find out what your Positivity Ratio is. Do the NeuroWisdom exercise Mark describes above. If you're not at least a 3 positives to every negative, make a commitment to change it by keeping track daily and striving for some improvement each day.
If you need help clearing the habitual negative thoughts, contact me–I can help!
Do you need help increasing your Positivity Ratio to you can get more clients, help more people, and make more money? Schedule a complimentary MMM Strategy Session with me to identify what patterns and beliefs are keeping you in a negativity cycle and how to break free.
Your partner in success,
Marketing, Mindset & Manifesting Coach