Boo! 5 Ways You May Be “Scaring” Your Potential Clients Away

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woman screamingBoo!  5 Common Ways You May Be Scaring Your Potential Clients Away 

It's Halloween! This is the time of year when many people delight in scaring people or being scared. But this isn't what you want to do with your potential clients!

You want to be attracting ideal prospects to you, not causing them to run away (or worse yet–warning others to stay away from you). But you might be unwittingly doing just that! Here are some common ways that you may be scaring off people who could be ideal clients:

5 common ways you may be scaring off customers:

1. When first meeting, talking all about you! Whether you're having an initial conversation with someone or talking to them in a consultation, you should be doing less talking and more listening. This is about making a connection and learning about who they are, what's important to them, what goals they have, and what struggles they are experiencing. Then you'll know whether they have a need you can fulfill, and they're getting to feel comfortable with you.

2. "Vomiting" on them! This is similar to mistake #1, but is also about sharing too much information, too quickly. Don't try to tell your life's story to them or share about EVERYTHING that you do. You might have a lot of experience, training/certifications, and success stories, but it should be "dosed out" in small batches and in different forms. Some people don't need a lot of information to decide they might want to work with you. Some do like more detail before making a decision to trust or hire you.

Share just enough to pique their interest or answer their questions, then invite them into a conversation, or to "sample" your work through your free offer, or to visit your website. Let them take the lead on letting you know what information they want, when. Having an "indoctrination" or "courting" process should also help with this.

3. De-positioning yourself. Just as bad as trying to "prove" yourself knowledgeable or successful enough, is downplaying your expertise or value. Never use words like "only" or "just" when describing yourself or your services. Never compare yourself negatively to others. Never suggest that you are "cheaper" than others or be apologetic about your fees. (Also don't talk negatively about other options or people–that de-positions you, too).

4. "Stalking" them. You should be "client-attractive" where people are seeking you out, not where you have to "chase" them. Follow-up is like a dance. Ask permission to lead (to follow up with them). Ask how/when would be best way/time to "lead" (contact) them (e.g., email vs. call vs. text; when are they free to talk or wanting to pursue the conversation). 

Lead gently, not aggressively (remind them of who you are/where you met, your conversation, their request to reach out to them; ask if this is still important to them now to resolve). Send them some useful information if they don't respond back within a couple of days. Always lead with an air of service, not with demands or judgments if they haven't responded.

Reach out on occasion with this same energy (a give or a query about the issue or struggle they mentioned). If there are several attempts to follow up with no reply, ask them directly (nicely) if they are still okay with you following up from time to time, or if they would like you to take them off your "check in" list. Let them know you care, but you are respectful of their space.

Another no-no is adding them to your mailing list without their explicit request or permission to do so. Them giving you their business card does NOT constitute permission to put them on your newsletter list.

5. Making them feel "wrong," "broken," "stupid" or "bullied." This is especially important if you are a coach or healer. When sharing what you do/how you help people, share about positive outcomes you help people create, not what you "fix" in them. Nor do they want to hear your opinion that they made a bad choice with something else they tried or are thinking of trying to resolve their issue or get what they want. 

People want to feel hopeful and inspired for having something better than what they have now, not made to feel like they are not good enough or insufficient. They want to know they have choices, but not that you are telling them what their choice should be (especially if that choice is YOU–that's just arrogant). 


Reflectively and undefensively review some of the past conversations you had with people in consultations, networking events or social functions where you talked about the services you provide, and there was no response from them when you thought there would be, or where you sensed them "retreating."

Ask yourself if any of these 5 "mistakes" were in play. If so,

1. Ask yourself how you can be mindful of this in the future and modify what you're doing. Maybe make a note to yourself (on your phone or calendar) before a scheduled networking or social event to be aware of this.

2. Practice the actual things you could say that would allow you to more appopriately connect with people, share what you do, position yourself respectfully, and ask if they would like to connect again–and with what purpose. 

3. You might even consider re-contacting someone you feel like you did this with but you really feel like you could be of assistance to, and just be transparent with them and say that you thought maybe you made one of these mistakes with and would like to apologize if they felt that was the case, so you can see if you can help them with the issue they were trusting enough to share with you–even if it's not you.

You'll usually get one of 3 responses from this: a. no response (it may be time to take them off your list), b. a thank you for the apology and a nod to give you another opportunity to speak with them or c. a reply that it was something else that kept them from following up that had nothing to do with you, and they might now be ready.

Do you need help learning how to "dance" with people to turn leads and consultations into paying clients who happily hire you?  Schedule a complimentary MMM Strategy Session with me 
to identify what tactics you are missing or mis-using and the mindset that is keeping you from changing them, so you can get more clients and make a difference in more lives!

Your partner in success,

Lisa Smith
Marketing, Mindset & Manifesting Coach

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